How Not To Care Too Much In A Relationship

How Not To Care Too Much In a Relationship

     Caring too much and too little in a relationship are both dangerous habits as this will most times lead to the end of the relationship. It is advisable to find a balance between both worlds this will ensure a long healthy relationship.  If you do all the work in a relationship you give little for your spouse to do, eventually, he will get used to it and wouldn’t want to do anything. This spells doom for that relationship and you will need to stop. A relationship is not meant to be stressful, it should be enjoyed by both parties.  Since we live in an imperfect world it is difficult for there to be an equal effort from both ends, so, therefore, you should rely on your instinct to know when the relationship becomes stressful. When does it feel like I am doing too much?

Some people believe that the person they are with is the only one for them so they will do anything within their power to continue with the relationship regardless. There are many options out there. If you feel that the relationship is stressful then its time to move on. If your not happy, you need to ask yourself whether you are the problem, if not start doing less, this will create space for the other person to step up. Monitor the relationship for a period of time, if you are still not doing well, not happy, then it is time my dear to move on with your life and look for someone who is more suited for you.

In those trying moments in your relationship, it is easier to worry about the problem at hand but I beckon on you to focus on yourself for the time being. Doing too much is most peculiar among people who are pleaser, they always want to please their friends, family, boyfriend, boyfriend family and they forget that they even need it more and deserve a taste of happiness. You will eventually put yourself in so much stress and misery because you can not give what you don’t have.

They are people who focus on changing their spouse and forgetting that you can change people and you can only advise them and the action to change in solely their responsibility. Maybe they don’t like a particular character and behavior exhibited by their partner and they begin to mount pressure on them to change.  I want to tell you to stop it right now. Love and accept him for who he is. If you cannot cope with who they are, it is better to move on. The only person that you can control is you. Instead of forcing them to change, why don’t you focus on you, and when he sees the change in you they will also want to change. Most people learn by imitation. When you mount pressure on people, instead of them to change they will be drifting away.

Either you trust them or let them go. Trust is a vital aspect of a relationship. Trusting your partner is important. When he does something that you perceive to be wrong you should confront them to know the truth. This is better than always checking and monitoring their movement, phone, social media account.

Always remember to be your own source of happiness. Some people enter into a relationship in other to find happiness, security, and love while being in a relationship can give you all these, this should not be the utmost reason to be in a relationship, as the union can eventually end and you will be left miserable. Rather than collecting from the union, you are meant to add to it, with these qualities already available. Work on having these qualities first. Find your own happiness, joy, and money for a much better and healthy union. This will prevent clinginess and dependencies to your partner. 

Don’t be too dependent. When you love, most times you fall in love because we are happy and our spouse sweeps us out of our feet you are so in love that you don’t think about anything, only your love matters at that moment. Don’t get me wrong, falling in love is not a bad thing as it ensures a more sustainable union, what is bad is losing yourself and identity to your union. There is a thin line in this so endeavor to figure it out. You can do this by making sure that you have a life outside of the union. Your friends should still remain, whatever passion you were doing prior to when you met, should still continue. You should also involve him as well. Don’t get lost! Know who you are.

Follow your dreams rather than scarifying yourself for the union. Women in those days were expected to drop their dreams and passion and concentrate fully on their spouse and children but now things are taking a shift as women are becoming more involved in career and also contributing financially towards their family. I advise you to support your spouse when the need arises and the spouse should do the same. A relationship is a two-way thing. When one partner feels neglected, this will result in unhappiness and it will eventually hurt the union. Because in pursuing your passion that is where you will find happiness. 

As a lady always voice out your dream because an open mouth is an open destiny. Let your partner be aware of how you feel. He might not agree immediately but eventually, he will.
Above all, always learn from your previous mistakes and errors because that is the only way you can grow as a person and also grow the relationship. Learn from those of your parents as well as your friends. In anything, you do always find your happy place.